What to do when your heart stops.

19 Mar


We love pleasure.

But more than we love pleasure, our hate for displeasure seems to be stronger.

The loathing of displeasure is what drives our decision making.

In sports, I’ve always asked my teams, “Do you hate to lose or love to win?”.

Most hate to lose.

Although the fear of losing can be a great motivator it never generates a sense of accomplishment, but rather a relief of escape.

If fear is the motivator, success becomes alleviation rather than achievement.


I believe the heart drives the mind and the mind drives actions.

But the mind can put a governor on the heart.

Fear can be a stimulant to motivate, but it can also be a depressant that leads to numbing.


The typical response to pain and loss is the suppressing of our emotions.

Some of us brag about never getting angry, but what has really happened is that we have so little of our heart invested that we are not able to get angry.

Others brag about their ability to “leave the emotion out of it”, as if that is some sort of accomplishment.

That’s nothing to be proud of.

“Even-keeled” is often just code word for someone who’s flatlined emotionally.


The greater the attempt at joy, the more at risk we are to pain.

In our heads we say – “I’ll go this far, I’ll try this hard, I’ll give this much, I’ll love this much”.

We do it in our relationships.

We do it with our dreams.

We do is scholastically.

We do it with God.

When we do this, we not only regulate pain, but we also regulate joy.

When you choose to self medicate your pain, you’ve inadvertently chosen to self medicate your joy.

When we widen the invisible threshold of pain we’re willing to bear, we also increase the amount of joy we’re able to experience.

What if there were no boundaries to how far you’d go, how hard you’d try, how much you’d give,  and how big you’d love?

Yes, there is wisdom in protecting your heart and emotional well being, but there is zero wisdom in living an emotionally flatlined life.

So I say to you- live again.  Get your heart back.  Life is so much better this way.  Embrace pain as a reminder of the joy that is at stake.  Fear not.  Take risks.  Put yourself out there.  You were designed to “feel”.  Stop injecting the vein of your emotions with numbing agents.  Stop mistaking the relief of fear for the satisfaction of joy.  Be vulnerable.

Our ultimate joy is found in Christ and He is the only one that can satisfy-run to Him for joy. John 4:14

Note:2 Corinthians 1:5  is one of many verses that shows the connection of suffering and joy.


One Response to “What to do when your heart stops.”

  1. ashley 04/04/2012 at 2:34 am #

    “Some of us brag about never getting angry, but what has really happened is that we have so little of our heart invested that we are not able to get angry.”

    Great statement.

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